People tell me you’re going to CSU Bakersfield. I thought you either haven’t told me about it, or you were just saying it because you didn’t want to be like, “idk” So today, I asked you, “what are we gonna do when you go off to college?” You shrugged your shoulders and said, “I don’t know” then I asked if you knew where you were going, you said no.. so I laid there and thought about it, and started to cry, you kept asking why and making a joke out of it.. saying we don’t even know where you’re going yet, so there’s no reason to cry. I was crying of the possibilities, and you said Bakersfield is only like an hour and a half away. I suddenly slipped and said, I feel alone even when you’re here, in San Jose. You gave me a little assurance, and this is probably the most we’ve ever talked about anything, and I can feel that we’re growing.. but I am scared of losing you, I’ll admit. & I really don’t wanna hold to back from going where you wanna go. I want you to make his choice with out having a thought of me in your mind.
I let you go because you deserve so much more than me. I’m sorry that I’ve wasted your time when i already knew it was gonna end up like this.. I knew I was never gonna be good enough for you. Since the beginning of this relationship, I’ve always noticed that you weren’t happy being with me, that’s why you never really liked showing an type of affection in front of others. Especially at school, you were just whatever about me being your girlfriend. I don’t know why I dragged it along for a whole 7 months, to finally realize that I don’t deserve you. Maybe I thought you’d learn to love me for the person I am, but I guess that’s asking for too much. I tried my best to make you happy, but I guess it’s not as satisfying as having someone prettier, smarter, and everything, that can make your grayest days bright. Now I’m laying here, hating myself.. All the time you wasted with me, you could have been with someone that was worth while.
